Want a Problem-Free Life? Easy, just stop breathing!
Your problems are one of your greatest resources. They are what force you to change, adapt and grow. Even if you don’t want to!
As a lifelong ADHDer, I have struggled with problems just like you. I tend to catastrophise the problem and allow my emotions to drive my behaviour. I am very good at only seeing the negative and downplaying any positive aspects.
If one aspect of a plan doesn’t work, I want to dump the whole project and look for something that I think will have fewer problems. That is my all-or-nothing thinking on an endless loop replay.
Now I am not saying that it’s easy to win over every problem, obstacle and challenge that comes into your life. Or to see the benefit hidden in the problem. How you react or respond to the problem is both the problem and the solution.
If you react, then the problem wins. If you respond with your emotions under control, then you win.
Problems provide feedback to help you see what you need to improve to achieve your goals
Step 1 Take back control of your thoughts and emotions. Ask if it is a real problem or just my interruption of an event.
Step 2 Rate the problem on a scale of one to ten. One being the easiest to fix.
Step 3 Don’t spend major time on minor problems.
Step 4 Don’t play the victim card; why me? Shit happens to everyone. Successful people have learned to deal with their problems and move on.
Step 5 Ask how you can solve the problem. What resources do you need, and who could help you?
Step 6 If you don’t want the problem to get worse, deal with it as soon as you can.
Step 7 Decide which aspects of the problem are within your control that you can change. Start with your beliefs, thoughts and emotions that impact your response. Accept that there will be some areas beyond your control, like other people’s values, beliefs, intentions, and reasons. Focus on what you can control.
Step 8 If you have the same reoccurring problems, it means you haven’t learned the lesson. They will continue to appear until you utilise the experience to change and grow.
Step 9 Above all, remember that problems are like life, only temporary!